Singles looking for connections turning to matchmakers

People in big cities are finding that dating apps are no longer serving them, which is giving matchmakers their moment.

People in big cities are finding that dating apps are no longer serving them, which is giving matchmakers their moment.

Yana Iskayeva/Getty Images

Alicia Williams has had some rough dating experiences.

The 29-year-old mom of two dated a guy who claimed he was divorced, even presenting her with papers to prove it. It turns out they were fake because, after Williams searched social media and public records, she discovered he was still married.

Article continues below this ad

“He was telling me he wants to build with me. FaceTiming me every night,” the Aurora, Illinois-based aesthetician recalled. “I was completely lied to.”

Marriage is Williams’ goal, but given her less-than-stellar romantic history and dating app fatigue, a client suggested she reach Matchmakers Elite, a service with offices in Oak Brook. “Tired of doing everything” on her own, Williams gave it a try.

It’s been over two months, and things are going well with one particular man, Williams said.

Matchmaking may be old-school, but these days its clientele is skewing younger and more diverse.

Article continues below this ad

“When they meet through someone they already trust, like their matchmaker, it helps overcome judgments and allows people of all backgrounds a chance at a real connection,” said Anna Rigali, senior matchmaker at Matchmakers Elite.

The matchmaking group sends her different pictures and descriptions of potential mates. Clients choose who they want to engage with, and their matchmaker checks in with both parties before and after dates to make sure things are going well or if a pivot is needed.

Studies show the online dating space is less welcoming for Black women willing to try it — experiences include misogynic, racial fetishes and microaggressions, in addition to biased dating app algorithms that leave many feeling invisible, less desirable and lonely. Pew Research Center data shows nearly half of American Black adults have never been married. Within the Black community, men are more likely to be married than women, and Black women are more likely than Black men to be divorced, separated or widowed.

People in big cities are finding that dating apps are no longer serving them, regardless of their educational background, ethnicity, religion, or income, which is giving matchmakers their moment, according to Erika Kaplan, vice president of membership for the Austin, Texas-based matchmaking firm Three Day Rule. Business has ticked up “significantly” over the past couple of years, she said.

Article continues below this ad

“We have a really diverse client base in all of our metro areas,” she said, adding that singles of all backgrounds, and certainly people of color, feel supported by the services a matchmaker provides. “Because data would say that dating in certain ethnicities is harder than others. We hear it all the time.”

When Kaplan’s clients turn to Three Day Rule, they are in their mid- to late 20s and feeling burned out, but still optimistic. “I think that’s because they’re more protective of their time and energy,” she said. “They’re seeking matchmaking to (date) in a more direct way, or as I refer to it ‘ready to take the direct route instead of the scenic route.’”

As the founder and lead matchmaker at Matchmakers Elite, Lisa Galos agreed that matchmaking is skewing younger. Parents have called her, saying: “Can you help my son, my daughter?”

A matchmaker’s role is to meet people face to face to ask the questions most clients would like the answers to but don’t have the time or guts to ask, Kaplan said, from relationship goals, history and their individual values.

Article continues below this ad

Call them consultants or “the friend in the middle,” matchmakers go beyond dating app questionnaires and work through the instant gratification of the online dating scene.

Galos’ role is to do the heavy lifting for people seeking romantic connections and make them feel supported on their quest for “Mr. and Ms. Right,” she said. “We talk to people on the human level, so it feels like there’s someone who has your back. It’s not like you’re doing this alone,” Galos said.

She also brings her clients “back to reality,” helping them look beyond the airbrushed, filtered images they are fed on dating apps and social media.

“With the internet … they get used to that, there’s expectations,” Galos said. “If you see something long enough, that’s your normal and that’s not how the real world is. Their arousal centers are distorted. It’s really interesting how men’s desire has changed because of what they’ve been exposed to, and women as well.”

Article continues below this ad

Despite the inequities and disparities in marriage and dating for Black and brown people, there’s hope, according to TeraKesha Hammond, a Chatham-based licensed clinical professional counselor. One avenue is matchmakers, she said, who help individuals ensure their values and relationship goals align.

“Turning to what we would call nontraditional pathways for finding love can eliminate people’s relational burnout,” Hammond said.

Naperville resident Dana Davenport agrees.

She and her fiance were brought together by two matchmakers in two different states — Galos at Matchmakers Elite and Trenia Norford at Weston, Florida-based Connectricity. Now Davenport and her fiance, both Black divorcees with two children each, have been together for four years. They’ve picked out rings, and she’s being fitted for her wedding gown.

Article continues below this ad

“I’ve been fairly successful in relationship building, but it never panned out in my love life,” Davenport said. “I was on Bumble and Hinge, had two long-term relationships, one on each of those apps. But I’m a fan of if what you’re doing on your own isn’t working, mix it up.”

Trained in the Gottman Method, an evidence-based couples therapy approach, Hammond, the counselor, said growing one’s emotional intelligence, dealing with past trauma and becoming the best version of oneself matter when it comes to relationships. “Once you find it and you align, the relationship is not going to sustain itself … you still have to have the relational skillset to be able to sustain it,” she said.

John Willis, 27, worked on himself before he came to his matchmaker at GayMatchmake.com, a subsidiary of Matchmakers Elite. Single “for quite some time,” he put in the work, he said. When Willis jumped back into dating with a clearer mind, he met and clicked with his first match, Hayden Yanez, 34, less than a week later.

For Yanez, Willis was his third match made through his matchmaker, Jamie Anton, the CEO of GayMatchmake.com. Willis was seeking a more organic connection, while Yanez was concerned about safety when dating. Working with matchmakers met both their needs, Willis said. The couple has been together for two and a half years.

Article continues below this ad

Thinking back on their initial meeting, Willis said it wasn’t a rom-com meet-cute.

“It wasn’t a Julia Roberts movie. We just kept showing up, going from there,” Willis said. “You got to go in with an open mind to ensure that you have some opportunity.”

Matchmakers Elite starts at $2,500 for unlimited matches for a year. It’s the same price for GayMatchmake.com. Three Day Rule costs $16,500 a year. (Their app is $25 a month.) Services include background checks, date coaching/advising and group singles events where potential dates can meet others, both inside and outside the matchmaking company.

Willis and Williams said the cost is worth it, opting for more quality over quantity.

Article continues below this ad

Galos said her company (founded and family-owned since 1983) coordinates with matchmakers across the nation and around the globe to ensure options and opportunities are plentiful. While there is no guarantee for love, “the guarantee is we’re gonna keep working with you until you’re satisfied,” according to Jamie Anton, Galos’ son.

“We have nursing students, single parents … we work with them so that we can accomplish it,” Galos said.

“I think a lot of people have this idea in their head of what their perfect person looks like,” said Rigali, Galos’ daughter. “We do a good job of getting people to look at people as human beings … past the superficial. Yes, you have deal-breakers, but there’s a lot more that goes into the matchmaking process, and that’s really why and where the apps fail. We work with our clients, put them in a good headspace to keep them open-minded to trust us and the process.”

Article continues below this ad

Williams is excited to try something new and to form a strong connection with someone. “I just want to make sure I’m on the right path,” she said.

Source link

Visited 1 times, 1 visit(s) today

Related Article

Health workers and humanitarian responders on the front lines of the Ebola response gather to receive a vaccination due to their potential exposure to the virus as part of their work with suspected cases. (Representative Image/Reuters)

Kenya releases first Ebola contacts from quarantine: Report

Kenya on Monday released from quarantine the first group of people who came into contact with its index Ebola patient, a milestone in its efforts to contain cases to a single infection cluster. Health workers and humanitarian responders on the front lines of the Ebola response gather to receive a vaccination due to their potential

Lifestyle choices that threaten your heart and brain health

File photo depicting brain health. Chief Executive Officer of the University of Ghana Medical Centre Ltd (UGMC), Dr Abdul-Samed Tanko, has urged Ghanaians to adopt healthier lifestyles, warning that sedentary habits and excessive consumption of fatty foods could endanger their heart and brain health. He said lifestyle choices, including excessive carbohydrate intake, physical inactivity and

font

Israel Elections 2026: Can Netanyahu Hold Onto Power? GFX | World News

News world Israel Elections 2026: Can Netanyahu Hold Onto Power? GFX Last Updated:October 26, 2026, 19:35 IST Israel Elections 2026: Netanyahu faces a challenge from opposition figures seeking to end his time in power. Netanyahu has campaigned heavily on his security credentials, touting the war he launched against Iran in February alongside the United States

New York City police officers are on duty outside the Lotte Palace Hotel during a United Nations General Assembly leaders reception, late Tuesday, Sept. 22, 2026, in New York. (AP Photo/Julia Demaree Nikhinson)

Serbia’s Political Veteran Vucic Outplayed All Opponents. Then the Students Came

BELGRADE, Serbia (AP) — Serbia’s populist strongman Aleksandar Vucic dominated the Balkan country’s politics for 14 years. Then came the students. The long-ruling authoritarian leader on Sunday conceded the defeat of his right-wing Serbian Progressive Party to a grassroots movement of university students in a parliamentary election. The students had led protests for almost two

Colombian Man Sets World Record For Longest Single-Arm Handstand

Colombian Man Sets World Record For Longest Single-Arm Handstand

The record was achieved in Bogota, Colombia. Fitness requires strength, balance and control over the body. Some people demonstrate these abilities by performing difficult physical activities. Nestor Santiago Gonzalez Valero from Colombia achieved a Guinness World Records title by holding a single-arm handstand for 1 minute and 54.50 seconds in Bogota, Colombia. According to Guinness

Capital markets expected to mobilise over $386 billion for 2026–2030 growth

A trader talks to a customer in the trading room of a securities firm in Hà Nội. — VNA/VNS Photo HÀ NỘI — The capital markets are expected to provide around VNĐ10 quadrillion (US$386.5 billion) towards meeting the country’s investment needs during 2026–2030, as the Government targets annual economic growth of at least 10 per

Thai Academy Fantasia star dies after emergency during China trip

Thai pilot and former Academy Fantasia contestant Teepchalit Phromchana, known as Tee AF6, has died after falling ill during a family trip to China yesterday, October 25. He was taken to a hospital in Beijing but succumbed to his illness, according to a family member. News of Tee’s death emerged after Satdha “Rak” Satdhathip, a

How Sam Altman, ChatGPT and AI-Driven Cyberattacks are influencing the Stock Markets

Artificial intelligence is transforming cybersecurity, but it is also creating new risks for businesses, governments and financial markets. Under Sam Altman’s leadership, OpenAI has helped bring advanced AI tools into mainstream use through ChatGPT. However, as AI systems become increasingly capable of identifying software vulnerabilities and executing complex tasks, concerns about cyberattacks are beginning to

Nile Air appoints Aeroprime Group as Passenger GSA in the United Kingdom

Nile Air, Egypt’s largest private airline, has appointed Aeroprime Group as its Passenger General Sales Agent (GSA) in the United Kingdom, effective November 1, 2026. The appointment forms part of the airline’s efforts to expand its distribution network, strengthen travel trade relationships and develop its commercial presence in the UK market. Under the agreement, Aeroprime

Aktsiaselts Infortar own share acquisition transactions

Aktsiaselts Infortar acquired its own shares on the Nasdaq Tallinn Stock Exchange during the period of 19 October – 23 October 2026 as follows: Date Aggregated volume (pcs) Weighted average price per day (EUR) 19.10.2026 195 65,0154 20.10.2026 242 65,3025 21.10.2026 240 68,9167 22.10.2026 244 68,6459 23.10.2026 246 67,8407 Aktsiaselts Infortar is acquiring its own shares

Billionaire Ken Griffin Is Buying This Dividend King That Wall Street Still Rates a Buy

Billionaire Ken Griffin’s Citadel Advisors has been increasing its stake in drugmaker AbbVie (NYSE: ABBV) in recent months. In the second quarter, Citadel purchased 2.7 million shares of AbbVie at an average price of $234.57, for a total investment of about $633 million. That takes Citadel’s stake in AbbVie to 3.2 million shares, worth $909

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and United States President Donald Trump. (REUTERS/FILE)

‘Vote for Bibi for PM’: Trump renews pitch for Netanyahu as Israel heads to polls tomorrow

US President Donald Trump once again threw his weight behind incumbent Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu ahead of Israel elections tomorrow, reiterating his endorsement of the Israeli leader, asking citizens to “vote for Bibi for PM.” Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and United States President Donald Trump. (REUTERS/FILE) In his latest post on Truth Social,

Latest and Breaking News on NDTV

“I’m Here, With You”: Venezuela Opposition Leader Maria Corina Machado Returns To Caracas

Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado returned to Caracas in a surprise move that could pose the biggest test yet to acting President Delcy Rodriguez’s political opening and the Trump administration’s strategy for post-Maduro Venezuela. “I’m here, with you,” Machado posted on X on Sunday, confirming her return after months abroad. Estoy aquí. Con ustedes

Latest and Breaking News on NDTV

Trump Critic Lula Wins Record Fourth Term In Brazil In Surprise Comeback

Brasilia: President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva came from behind to win Brazil’s runoff election, halting a right-wing wave sweeping Latin America and defying predictions that the 80-year-old political veteran had finally reached the end of his extraordinary career.  The electoral court declared Lula the victor with 51.8 per cent versus 48.2 per cent for Flavio

76 Places Around The World People Deem The Most Unsettling

Earlier this month, we shared a list of the creepiest places in the US, as told by people who experienced them firsthand. Now, let’s open it up to the whole world. Here are 76 of the scariest, darkest, and most unsettling cities, towns, and other destinations from all around the globe: Hey, you! Have you

Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump in Anchorage, Alaska, Aug. 15, 2025.

Coddling Putin Won’t Bring Peace to Ukraine

President Trump’s gambit to end Russia’s war in Ukraine by pressuring the victim is certain to fail. His approach to the war reveals he misunderstands facts that American voters understand well. Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump in Anchorage, Alaska, Aug. 15, 2025. While Vladimir Putin ignores Mr. Trump’s call for an energy cease-fire and continues

Best big cities in US? Bay Area, San Diego CA ranked top 10

Planning a trip? California is home to three of the nation’s best big cities, according to Condé Nast Traveler. Condé Nast Traveler readers recently picked the top 10 best large cities in the United States in 2026, highlighting destinations with top-notch restaurant, bar and hotel scenes. “Go beyond what you might expect, and you’ll find

Why Carpenter Technology Stock Plunged 24.5% This Week

A quarterly revenue report that missed Wall Street expectations sent Carpenter Technology (NYSE:CRS) tumbling 22.5% this week, overshadowing an earnings beat. Carpenter Technology stock changed hands at $292.26 as of the close on Friday, Oct. 23, down 24.5% this week from Friday, Oct. 16’s close, according to data provided by S&P Global Market Intelligence. Over

0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x