If you care about your health, chances are you have spent a lot of time and energy meal prepping, going to the gym, and nailing the perfect morning routine. Wellness girls everywhere portray lives (AKA TikToks) full of early morning gym sessions, protein-packed salads, and red light therapy masks before bed. While movement, nutrition, and self-care are crucial pillars of well-being, there’s one problem: We’re missing a major part of the puzzle. In fact, in today’s individualized perfectionist wellness culture, what we define as “wellness” often neglects (and even detracts from) what research has proven to be the most important contributor to health.

According to research (which I share below), diet and exercise aren’t the greatest factors in physical health–community is. Spending time with people you love and having meaningful connections is healthier for you than drinking a superfood smoothie or going on a run every day. If you’re not as focused on the ways you’re being nourished besides the food on your plate, or the ways you’re spending your energy besides exercise; if you’re under the impression that eating “bad” food or skipping a workout is damaging but you regularly say “no” to plans with people you love, you may be missing the most critical contributions to your well-being. Still don’t believe me? Read on for the powerful pieces of research that don’t get enough attention.

“What we define as ‘wellness’ often neglects what research has proven to be the most important contributor to health.”

Why Relationships Are The Most Important Health Factor

Loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking cigarettes

So you know smoking a pack of cigarettes is not good for your health, but did you know loneliness is just as bad? A now-famous 2010 study conducted by a professor of psychology and neuroscience, Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, found that loneliness or having weak social ties was linked to a higher risk of mortality. The research analyzed data from 148 studies involving over 300,000 participants and determined that loneliness was the most prominent factor in early mortality rates, comparable to the effects of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In other words, loneliness is as bad for your health as smoking almost two packs of cigarettes a day.

Follow-up studies done in 2015 and 2017 confirmed that loneliness and social isolation increased the risk of early death potentially more than other well-known risk factors like obesity and physical inactivity. This research–along with similar studies–is what prompted the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory to declare a national “loneliness epidemic” in 2023, as the effects are not just on our mental health, but physical too. But it’s not only that loneliness can negatively affect your health, but that connection can be miraculous for your health; that same 2010 study found that stronger social connections lowered the risk of mortality by 50%. 

“The Roseto Effect” is real

Let me introduce you to The Roseto Effect: In the 1960s, medical researchers noticed that the population of Roseto, Pennsylvania had a strikingly low incidence of heart attacks and cardiovascular disease compared to neighboring towns, and they also had significantly lower mortality rates compared to the national average. Perplexingly, the population followed diets high in saturated fats like fried food and did not live very active lifestyles. Researchers eventually found that the factors that made Roseto different were dominant social factors: a deep communal culture, multigenerational households, daily and weekly social gatherings, and a strong emphasis on equality.

So even though this town did not have particularly healthy diets, active lifestyles, or better healthcare, they had vastly better health than similar towns purely because of their inherent social connection. Based on this study, the term “The Roseto Effect” was coined to mean the phenomenon that a close-knit community experiences a reduced rate of disease and improved health.

More research about the incredible impact relationships have on physical health came out of the Blue Zones, or the spots throughout the world that contain the longest-living populations. Dan Buettner is the longevity expert and researcher who works to define the factors that contribute to these populations living so long. Among factors such as walkable communities or diets high in healthy fats like olive oil or fiber such as beans, a key factor that every Blue Zone has in common is a strong community. For example, Okinawans had a system called moais, or groups of five friends they are born into that are committed to each other for life, to make sure that everyone has a deep community and strong connection.

For more examples of how relationships affect your physical health, Buettner’s research found that living grandparents or aging parents have lower disease and mortality rates when living with or near children or grandchildren and that committing to a life partner can add up to three years to your life expectancy. 

“If you are disengaging from your relationships in the name of health, you have definitely lost the plot.”

How This Should Change the Way We View Wellness

In our society’s definition of wellness, “taking care of yourself” not only encourages isolation but enforces it. We’re foregoing evening plans with friends in favor of sleepy girl mocktails and a 5 a.m. alarm clock for the gym, and we’re dropping $40 on a Pilates class where we don’t talk to anyone beyond shaking our heads when the instructor asks us “any injuries?” In fact, why go to a class when you can play a video on your phone from the comfort (and isolation) of your own home? Being on that new diet makes it really difficult to join your friends for dinner, and who has time for weekend brunch when you have a Sunday reset to complete?

My point is not that the wellness girl lifestyle is all bad: “me-time” is crucial for stress relief and introspection, and nutrition, fitness, and routines will always be important ways to love your body. My point instead is that we may have lost the plot. If you are eating clean and exercising but not first and foremost doing everything you can to nurture your deepest relationships and find a fulfilling community, you have lost the plot. If you are disengaging from your relationships in the name of health, you have definitely lost the plot.

I hope this research reminds you of this important point: you can eat the healthiest foods and go hard in the gym every day, but if you are not fostering fulfilling connections and community, you cannot be truly healthy. Maybe we can all stress a little less about a glass of wine, slice of birthday cake, or skipping tomorrow’s morning workout, knowing that laughing and connecting with people we love is doing more for our bodies than a Pilates girl workout or Erewhon smoothie ever could.

MEET THE AUTHOR

Josie Santi, Senior Wellness Editor & Podcast Host

Josie has been an editor and writer for The Everygirl since 2017 and became a certified Holistic Health Coach in 2020. As the Senior Wellness Editor, she oversees, writes, and edits wellness content, as well as reports on wellness trends and interviews the industry’s leading experts. Listen to Josie on The Everygirl Podcast.