Remember the German referee who proposed at a football game? The story has taken some dark turns since

What started as a good news story from the progressive heartlands of German football has, in the space of two weeks, taken a series of confusing, distressing and bizarre turns.

On January 30, ahead of Koln’s Bundesliga game against Wolfsburg, Pascal Kaiser publicly proposed to his boyfriend.

“I don’t want to hide, I want to be visible,” he said. “I’m not being loud or provocative, but honest. I want everyone to see that I love this person, a man, as a man in football.”

Then Kaiser, an amateur referee and Koln fan, got down on one knee in front of nearly 50,000 supporters at the RheinEnergieStadion, popped the question, and, to the sound of the crowd’s applause, got the answer he was looking for. 

His partner said yes. The two kissed and embraced by the side of the pitch and football had a feel-good moment that was shared online, all over the world. Koln is known as one of Germany’s most liberal cities and its biggest football club enjoys the same progressive reputation. Nevertheless, it was a heartening moment of acceptance and one which, hopefully, reassured queer fans everywhere that football is a safe environment. 


But in the aftermath, a simple act has developed into a bigger, stranger and ultimately darker story. 

The proposal was a big deal in Germany. DAZN, the domestic broadcaster for Bundesliga games, showed it as part of their pre-match build-up. The footage was repeated many times before the end of the weekend, on traditional television and social media. A YouTube short of the moment, published by ZDF, one of Germany’s public service broadcasters, currently has over 168,000 views. 

The day after, on January 31, Kaiser granted an interview with Tagesspiegel, the German daily newspaper, in which he explained that his partner had wanted a “big” proposal and that being visible in that moment was important. 

“This sport needs role models,” he said. “Otherwise, people feel alone.”

By the end of the weekend, all told, millions of people had seen the proposal and reacted to it.

Including one of Pascal Kaiser’s former employers. 

On February 2, Beerpongbar, a local business in Koln, published a message on Instagram in which they made a series of accusations about him. Entitled “Where is Pascal?”, the message read: “Pascal didn’t just steal from us — other victims are coming forward.

“Pascal was the operations manager of the Beerpongbar in Koln. He disappeared without a trace, taking with him a week’s takings, change, and a laptop. Despite filing a police report, the case has proven complicated so far.

“We have extensive evidence, including chat logs, video and photographic material, and witness statements. For legal and data protection reasons, this cannot be published; it has been forwarded to the relevant authorities.”

The message also included screenshots of other messages received, sent in response to the initial Instagram post, alleging other wrongdoing by Kaiser, including from someone claiming to be a former room-mate who was accusing Kaiser of not paying rent.

The Instagram post also tagged several major German news organisations, with several running stories in response, creating a second surge of interest.

The Athletic contacted Dr Oliver Strank, the legal representative of the owner of Beerpongbar, who confirmed that Kaiser worked for the company between April and July 2024, and that he was first dismissed for his “misbehaviour with money” before then being dismissed with cause, for failing to return that money to his employer.

Among the accusations against Kaiser is that he embezzled a total of €8,500 (£7,420, $10,040) during his employment, comprising €3,300 of weekly turnover, which he kept for himself, €700 in vending machine turnover, €1,450 in advance expenses, and an unreturned laptop worth €600. Kaiser is also accused of hosting three separate parties at the bar without paying the money due for hiring the premises. 

The bar filed a criminal complaint with the Koln police on July 20, 2024. 

The Koln public prosecutor’s office has confirmed to The Athletic that “the management of a bar in Koln filed a criminal complaint against a former employee for theft and other charges”, and that an investigation took place, before being paused in early 2025, “because there was no reliable information about where the former employee actually lived or where he spent extended periods of time”.

The prosecutor’s office told The Athletic that the investigation was reopened later in 2025 and was ongoing.

But the disparate elements of Kaiser’s story have held the media’s interest. Bild, Germany’s largest-selling tabloid, approached him in the days following the accusations made by Beerpongbar. The resulting article, published on February 5, contained a picture of the small town outside Koln where Kaiser lived, and noted that his name was on the door. 

Kaiser declined to answer any questions, instead directing the Bild reporter to his lawyer, who denied all charges on his behalf. The representative did not respond to The Athletic’s questions about the specific accusations.

The situation was about to become much more serious. And strange. 

Whatever the accusations against Kaiser, the homophobic backlash against him has been real and sustained. No surprise, perhaps. In 2024, Germany’s federal ministry of the interior recorded 1,765 criminal offences relating to a victim’s sexual orientation, which represented an 11 per cent rise on the previous year. 

It’s an important context. 

Following his public proposal, Kaiser received online abuse and threats of violence. Many were overtly homophobic, some, his lawyer has said, even contained his address. 

Kaiser uses social media for advocacy and has a large following. Alarmed by the threats, he switched his Instagram account to private in response and contacted the local police, who attended his property. 

According to his legal representative, on Saturday, February 7, having been alerted by messages that suggested that his home was being watched, Kaiser left his house to smoke and was attacked by three unidentified men outside. Describing the incident, his lawyer has said that Kaiser was punched in the face and ribs, before the men disappeared. 

Kaiser sent photographs of his facial injuries to L’Equipe, the French sports daily, who published them online.

(Pascal Kaiser/L’Equipe)

How did Kaiser’s address become public? His lawyer has told local Koln media that he believed his client’s former employer, Beerpongbar, was responsible.

“I was sent screenshots as early as Friday evening, which provide reliable evidence that a Koln bar is publicly disseminating our client’s home address and calling for people to pay our client a visit.”

Kaiser’s lawyer, Dr Moritz Lange, did not respond to further questions from The Athletic. Dr Strank, the lawyer representing the bar’s owner, has strenuously denied that his client had played any part in making the address public.

“Neither my client nor anybody else working at the bar made the address of Mr Kaiser public prior to the attack or thereafter,” Dr Strank told The Athletic.   

“Like so many people who have been damaged in their assets, my client is solely demanding that Mr Kaiser finally compensates him for the financial losses he has caused. No more, but also no less. And my client wants the public prosecutor’s office to finally pursue Mr Kaiser with the necessary energy and to bring about justice.” 

The bar also responded publicly to news of the attack on Kaiser with an Instagram story published on February 9, saying that: “We condemn violence. It is not a solution. We have reported everything to the justice system, which will now carry out its work. We expect a swift clarification of the matter and repayment of our claims.”

The police are yet to conclusively determine a motive for the attack, but the case continues to attract significant attention in Germany, well beyond football. 

Sophie Koch, who has served as the federal government’s commissioner for the acceptance of sexual and gender diversity since 2025, wrote on Instagram: “Pascal was the victim of cowardly and inhumane violence”, before urging German people “to speak out decisively, to act in solidarity, and to refuse to accept any form of verbal or physical violence”.

Rumours that Kaiser had suffered a second attack by a different group of assailants also appeared in the German media last week, but The Athletic has been unable to independently verify the accuracy of those claims. The Koln police, who continue to investigate the February 7 attack, did not respond to questions about a second incident. 

Contacted again by email, Pascal Kaiser also declined to comment. 

“As Dr Lange has already explained to various media outlets,” he told The Athletic, “I reject the accusations made by my former employer. Those statements fully reflect my position. I will not be making any further comments on this matter.

“I will not comment on any other points raised — particularly ongoing matters, private affairs, and police investigations — at this time.”

Then, today (February 18), there was a further development. 

Following reporting by the Kolner Stadt-Anzeiger, a local daily newspaper, the Koln public prosecutor revealed that it had “started investigations against a man living in Wermelskirchen on the initial suspicion of feigning criminal offences. 

“He is suspected of faking bodily injury offences to his disadvantage and of having previously written and sent threatening messages allegedly addressed to himself.”

This investigation is ongoing. Dr Ramon Thal, a new lawyer representing Pascal Kaiser, told the Kolner-Stadt Anzeiger that “no questions regarding the alleged facts, any statements made to investigating authorities, or other details would be answered” and “no conclusions can be drawn from a lack of comment”. He also requested that his “client’s privacy be respected in reporting and that speculative attributions be avoided”.

What happens next? Who knows. A story that began simply has become ever more complex, taking a different and sharper turn every few days.

In the beginning, it was about love. It still is, but much more than that, too. 



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