機師育成之路


今年的雨水真係多到怕怕,差不多兩個月不停地落雨,好像沒有一天是整天都是晴天,令人心情有點納悶,這段時間正正是史丹轉機隊的訓練日子,在訓練時候才大風大雨,真的有點頭痛。 還記得前兩年747機隊不夠人,史…

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甚麼是愛

甚麼是愛?這是一個複雜的哲學問題。 我從小都很疑惑:傳統文化、課本、宗教、學校、以至社會,都不斷重複「愛很重要、很美好,要愛人如己」等,把「愛」說得很簡單、很自然。事實上,我完全體會不到、亦無法理解。我也相信,大部分人其實對愛的真諦不甚了解,只不過是人云亦云、重複老生常談而已。 直至我有孩子以後,切身感受到「理解愛」的急切性;於是,我更積極地從心理學、哲學、以及日常生活去研究甚麼是愛。 關於「愛」的背後哲學,我推薦以下兩本書:德國哲學家Erich Fromm的《愛的藝術》(The Art of Loving),以及日本作家岸見一郎的《為愛徬徨的勇氣》。他們可說是為「愛」作出了最深入淺出的詮譯,跟社會上經常提到的愛有很大分別。 Erich Fromm提出「愛的四大要素」:照顧,責任,尊重和理解。 仔細一想,不少父母做到「照顧」和「責任」兩方面,就以為自己很愛孩子了。可是,單是這樣算不上愛;真正的愛,必須包括「尊重」和「理解」。 「尊重」孩子是獨立的個體,讓他自由發展,而不是要他符合自己的期望、在孩子「乖」和服從的時候才愛他——這一點,很多父母已經做不到。完全接納孩子的個性、不論孩子變成怎樣都堅定地愛孩子,這才是成熟的愛、無條件的愛。 而「理解」孩子,就更加不容易了;尤其孩子不會在你面前表現出他所有的樣貌,甚至孩子自己也不太理解自己。因此,要真正愛一個人,必須付出許多努力,並擁有足夠的智慧和人生經驗。 Erich Fromm的理論是:「愛」並不是與生俱來的能力,而是需要後天學習和實踐的。愛是藝術,是技巧;不付出努力的人,不學習、不思考、不練習的人,會缺乏愛人的能力。 這稍為解除了我小時候的疑惑。幸好我有兩個女兒,她們就是我學習和實踐的對象,使我領略到甚麼是無條件的愛,逐漸培養出「愛的能力」;這就是為人父母的幸福之處。 Source link

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